Dear you,
To the girl inside this strong shell, the girl inside your intelligent head, why? Why do you hate your body so much? You weren’t brought up to think you were anything but beautiful. The people who love you and cherish you think you are the most beautiful person in the world. You get compliments about your hair, your ample bust, and your shapely legs so what’s up with hating yourself? The belly is what’s wrong. The fact that you weigh more than you should, but have you ever had a weight related health issue? No you haven’t.
Your weight isn’t born out of eating ten packets of biscuits in one day; it’s born out of eating and then sitting. Sitting because you’re lonely, sitting because you hid away, cut yourself off from the world. Cutting yourself off out of grief, out of having your world crumble around you and the only comfort you could find was from food.
You had never had a hateful word said against you or your weight until secondary school when three boys, yeah exactly three stupid little fourteen year old boys who now are spotty ugly fools who thought it was hilarious to ask “who freed willy” they didn’t get it, they didn’t understand that you were screaming inside, hating everyone around you. Wanting to cry and scream and have someone to ask you if you were ok because you didn’t let anyone in, you shut them out. You wanted to be the strong one, the one who pretended nothing had changed when infact everything had changed. From the popular girl who had the world at her feet to the girl who found comfort and solitude in her bedroom. Your bedroom, the one place you hardly spent anytime in before now you see nearly every waking hour in there. You push people away, you make people face the negatives about you before you trust them, and people leave you because you protect yourself too much. You prepare for the worst because the worst happened and you weren’t prepared for that. So now you prepare and protect. You pick at every little flaw, every roll of fat, every stretch mark because it’s something people could hate, something people could comment on, so you prepare by scrutinizing yourself so you have identified every possible area which could be belittled or hated by someone else.
This isn’t you, you are the one person who thinks most people are beautiful beings, the person who sits on tumblr amazed by the beautiful girls who are so proud of their bodies, proud of their lumps and bumps but you don’t allow yourself to do the same? How do you fix such a broken girl? Any help out there?
To the woman I know you are, you are no longer a girl, you are a woman who needs to stand up and believe she is beautiful because if she doesn’t no one else will. So start believing please?

Yours always
xx